I scour the online for-sale sites frequently and I am always amused by some of the clock ads that folks write. I wish I could post some pictures, some of the clocks are truly pathetic but copyright law prevents me from doing so but at least present the unique descriptions. None of the spelling errors are mine by the way.

Here we go:

“I have an old antique wined up clock works great runs real waits”

An ad for a Chinese wall clock similar to this Daniel Dakota

Converted quartz Daniel Dakota
Converted quartz Daniel Dakota

“Original Carillon 1960-70 antique 31-day winding clock perfect condition. Elegant design with brass hands and pendulum. Comes with original key. Selling to people with taste $300”

No this clock does not look good!

“I made this clock myself, looks pretty good I think. $10.00”

An ad for what looks like a bracket clock:

“red color wood, in nice shape, not working, needs guts”

Not sure I’d take a chance on this one.

“Great look needs clock looked at and bulb. If I get to fixing it it will be more”

This ebony Adamantine Seth Thomas similar to this Sessions better be made of gold.

$1750.00 Good Investment, Great Gift, Excellent Condition, 8 Day, Chimes on the hour, bell on half hour, very accurate. I have owned this clock for 9 years with no problems. Circa 1890. This range of Adamantine Clocks, are known to collectors as “Black Mantel Clocks”

Session Raven time and strike mantel clock
Session Raven time and strike mantel clock

Ad from Value-Village. I thought one could always get great deals there but not any more. And for $600 wouldn’t you want to know the maker of the clock?

“Foreign Granddaughter’s clock, Art Deco – Solid Oak -8 day, quarterly chime , Slight damage to dial and hinge, Dimensions: 55″H x 9,5″@ x 9.5″ D , Price: was $899.00 Now: $599.00!”

And another stellar Value Village ad. Are they serious at Value Village? It looks exactly like this Forestville time and strike that I own:

“Forestville German Art Deco Clock , Wood, Westminster Chimes (quarterly), Key wind in good working condition. Ca 1920. Has some damage at top of Dial. Key, Dimensions: 22″W X 5″H Price: was $499.00 NOW $349.00!”

Forestville time and strike mantel clock
Forestville time and strike mantel clock

More ads

“royal adult on carriage clock; never used by bulova”

“Coo Coo Clock in excellant condition!”

“Beautiful antique crank clock. Still works great”

“Clock antique, brand new. Made out of wood, heavy and durable. Japan movement powered by one AA battery. Beautiful, antique, decorative. High 9 inch, wide 7 inch.
I live Dufferin x Finch $60”

“Antique Citizen wall clock in working condition. Comes with key. Made in Korea. Asking $125 or make my an offer!”

Chinese or Koren clock perhaps. These quite often sell for less that $50. I might consider a Korean or Japanese clock but I would never pay $150 for a Chinese one. I wonder what might happen if I offered less, would they threaten me!

“Vintage Beacon regulator 31 day keywind wall clock. They don’t make em like this anymore! Solid wood (not veneers) The movements keep excellent time. This clock is over 50 years old and works like new! We do not know the exact age as father in law brought it to Canada from Germany in the early 50s. Its in mint condition and works like new. Seriously nice sounding chimes Dimensions: 28in h x 16in w (at round face) x 6in deep Key included Serious enquiries only please.  Price is NOT NEGOTIABLE! This means asking price of $150.00 is my final price.”

And others.

I have this clock but don’t have time to use it. Works fine.

Misfits clock works great from smoke free home

Jack Daniel’s promotional advertising wooden wall clock, would look great session room, rex room. Clock works $75 obo